Day 16: Continued Experimentation

Its 8:15 am. The subject has begun to show signs of life again. Late by all and any standard regime, the stupor seems to be lifting, but there seems to be some sort of transformation on her face. Are those bunny whiskers? *sharp intake of breath* This requires further investigation!

Warning: This post includes some information that may feel too personal. Abot my bowels and stuff. If that shit freaks you out,give this one a miss. Even though, I assume it will get only MORE TMI in the future. Just sayin’ Peace! ❤

Okay, so maybe there were no bunny whiskers. I do believe I would carry them off really well, but still. No such luck. What I did have was a chill day and a really, REALLY late morning. In retrospect, the after effects of yesterday’s coffee were probably still surging through me. According to science and yoga, the temporary rush of coffee is almost always followed by a crash in energy, that surge has got to hit a wall sometime. And when it hits a wall, what crashes is not only my energy, but also my schedule, my resolve and my will power. In short I become what can only be described as a raging love child of the cookie monster (I ❤ sugar) and a sleep deprived Zombie!

That was the state in which I approached my Friday morning. Praying for a miracle, because how inspiring can you be with absolutely no energy, I found my day fully free and did a little jig. Knowing that I was suffering because of the milk coffee shenanigans and not willing to suffer about breaking my rules, I gave myself a little twist and wiggle room.

What if the coffee had no milk? What happens to my body then? what if I could give this “Bad Aakriti” moment some sense and purpose? To do a full investigation. My spirits lifted, I breeze over to the fridge and prepare a batch of ragi pancakes with apples and a coffee with almond milk. When trying to figure out your body’s senstivites through an eliminative diet, as I am right now, its important to know the degree of sensitivity. THere’s a big chance that the dairy is what my body is sensitive to. AKA I can drink coffee without harming myself. I can’t let go of that sliver of hope. A world without coffee seems to be a bleak one, for sure.

To be doubly sure, I even tapped on that cup of coffee. Trying to dissociate any feelings of cravings or emotional attachments to my coffee. The Ragi Pancakes were Ahhh-mazing! All that was left was to figure out this coffee scene.

Deep breath in, excitement mounting, expectations of a lifetime crawling forward. I can almost feel the sweet, aromatic robustness on my tongue. My mouth watering with all this anticipation. I thought, “I even cleared my bowels. Nothing will happen now!”

I take that long, delicious gulp. Swirl the warm liquid in my mouth. Swish it like a seasoned connoiseur. Smell,taste and touch all activated. All the pleasure centres of my brain lit up! I’m thinking yes, this is it! I can do almond milk coffee.

*tummy rumbles* Nope. Gotta go, gotta go right now.

Bottom line: It is undeniably a coffee sensitivity. Unless I need to go real bad and its a case of life and death, I’m sad to say my relationship with coffee will have to be terminnated effectively. I even found my belly hurting from the forced evacuation. Remember, there was nothing there to push out. So whatever medium was used, may have been a reserve, excess, whatever, caused my body discomfort. Hinsa. Violence. I’m hurting myself. Because I wanted to satiate my tongue and satisfy my emotions, I never noticed this before.

As I’ve found, and the Masters teach, with awareness you can begin to put an end to all that doesn’t serve you.

Now I’m aware. Aware that I’m at some new level of square one.

Sigh. Here we go again.

Start tomorrow fresh. Start strong, stay the course. Much will be achieved.

Hugs and grace,

Aakriti xoxo

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